Pastor's Blog

Nashville  (JNN) – Thomas Nelson, Inc. has announced the publication of a new specialty Bible designed to appeal to left-handers. The  Left-Hander’s Study Bible  is set to come out just in time for Christmas. “I am so happy to finally have a Bible that is sensitive to my needs,” said Amanda Laevus.  “We live in a right-hander’s world, and everything is geared toward them, including the Bible.” “Think about it,” said Thad Armstrong, the key figure behind the development of the new Bible, and himself a leftie.  “The Bible has favored righties over lefties since the very beginning.  It speaks, for instance, of  right  and wrong.  How is this supposed to make a leftie feel?  And this is just the tip of the iceberg.  In our new  Left-Hander’s Study Bible  we have kept the text of the NIV, but have made some modifications so as to be sensitive to lefties.” Here’s a sampling of the kind of c...

JESTER NEWS— In a move that was widely expected among court-watchers, the Ninth District Court of Appeals ruled yesterday that reading the Founding Fathers in public schools and appealing to them in legal arguments is unconstitutional. “We have been watching this court for sometime now,” said Gary Shyster, a lawyer with the ACLU, who filed a brief in the case. “We knew that it was only a matter of time.” Christa Phobe, executive director of Hysterical Americans United for the Removal of all Traces of a Christian Past, was elated with the court’s decision. “We knew we had a strong case since the court had previously ruled against the posting of the Declaration of Independence in government buildings because of its appeal to ‘the Creator.’ If the Declaration had to go, we knew the rest of the Founding Fathers’ writings couldn’t be far behind.”  The case originated when Ima Bigot of Berkeley, California objected to an assignment her son was given in his hi...