Showing posts from April, 2021

Of What Is, and What Only Seems to Be

Sometimes things happen in life that make it seem as if we are the helpless victims of a cold, dark, impersonal, and merciless fate. The inevitable consequence of such a belief is despair, a point made very poignantly in this medieval poem, O Fortuna, set to music in 1936 by Carl Orff. The video below is a powerful performance. I’ve watched it a dozen times at least in the last six months. If you’ve experienced tragedy and loss, you’ve no doubt felt what it describes, a sense of utter helplessness in the face of forces beyond your control. O Fortune, like the moon you are changeable, ever waxing ever waning; hateful life first oppresses and then soothes playing with mental clarity; poverty and power it melts them like ice. Watch it. Listen to it. Ponder the words carefully. (You can find the full lyrics here ). And then remember that it’s all wrong . There is a vast difference between what is and what only seems to be. In all the fluctuations of life, especially when things turn da

Three Months Gone

Tomorrow will be three months without Melinda.    I can’t even begin to say how disorienting it has been without her.    That’s the best word for it, I think.   Disorienting .   At least, that’s the word that keeps popping into in my head.   We did everything together, went everywhere together, talked about everything and nothing.   I’ve heard some people say it’s wise for couples to have a “life outside of marriage,” to have some independence and personal space.   I don’t subscribe to that form of wisdom.    Someone much wiser said that the two shall become one.   And so it was for us.   Our lives were thoroughly intertwined, and neither of us would have had it any other way.   Melinda was a constant presence, a true companion and confidant in every way.   Life isn’t right without her.   Not for me, not for our children.   Tonight, our youngest (Olivia) is attending her first formal event as a high school student.   It will be the first of many “big” events to come in the life o